As a bonafide grammar Nazi, I do understand that this blog tittle is a hellified vivid example of incorrect verb tense usage. However, this title speaks directly to my heart, and the value of being exactly who you are. No more and no less.
I have been away at the National Institute on the Teaching of Psychology conference for most of the week. As you may have guessed from the name, this particular conference was dedicated to learning new techniques to teach and engage students in the field of psychology.
Over the years, I have developed a small habit of scanning conference crowds for familiar faces. Not necessarily of people I know, but for people who look like me. If you’ve seen my photo (and how can you miss it since it’s right at the top of the blog), it should come as no surprise that I am an African American woman. And in some academic spaces – well, most – I am one of the few.
It is what it is. And I am who I am when I walk into these spaces. I think about things that I was hyper-concerned about in the past, dating back to when psychology started to become a real viable career path and not just a bunch of classes I was taking. Social mixers and things of that nature were a major source of anxiety. My head would swim with a bunch of racing thoughts like: Am I being academic enough? When I go to social mixers, am I saying the right things? Did I sum up my research and professional interests coherently? Should I have asked a different question? More questions? Better questions?
Breaking Out of The Box
Social anxiety is a mutha. And at times like these, I remind myself to “be who you is.” What that means is that not only am I here for a reason, but I’m here for an unique reason.
Waaaayyy back I’m 2010 (I’m kidding), a friend posted a note on my Facebook wall, stating that “Less than 10% of people in the world have Ph.D.s and less than 1% of people in the United States,” and in not-so-many-words, congratulations on joining an elite group of individuals. I haven’t culled through a bunch of demographic data, but I imagine there is a short list among all varieties of graduate and professional degree recipients. If you’re a person of color like myself, once you start factoring down to those who “look like me,” well, welcome to a super elite club.
Once you get down to this micro-level, what you’ve got is individuality. Tell your anxiety to take a long hike, get lost in the forest, and then eaten alive by a family of Grizzlies. It’s not so much saying the right things every single moment or succumbing to some insane level of conformity or internal expectations or pressure. You go in and be ALL of who you are, represent yourself and your intentions to the fullest, and take ownership that you are the author of your own script.
Be who you is. I’m practicing being all that I am.
